Recipe

• 1 Cup Dried beans

• 2 dried chilis (I used New Mexico chilies this time)

• 1 small head of Garlic (like… 8 to 10 cloves, damnit)

• 1 onion

• 1 tsp Cumin

• 1 tsp Baking Powder

Method

Soak the beans overnight with the chilis (EDIT: in a LOT OF WATER. Like, almost a gallon.). (EDIT: Add the baking soda to the water.) Boil them in the soaking water for 1 hour the next day (also with the chilis). Remove the chilis and mince them into a paste. Caramelize an onion in Olive Oil & Butter, then add cumin, the chilis, and garlic. Saute for a few minutes, then add the drained beans. Smash them up and add the cooking liquid a little at a time until the beans are mashed to your desired creamy thickness. Serve over toast with grated cheese, or on a fried tortilla with cheese, or over rice with cheese, or on a block of cheese.

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WELL THEN. We’re all looking for ways to cook those beans we’ve had in our pantries for 3 years. Suddenly all of the stores are out of yeast, and everyone is looking to learn how to make bread. Well have no fear. I kind of sort of know how to do these things.

Of course I’m not the ONLY person in the USA how has ideas on how to cook dried black beans, but here’s my favorite way, and a way I’ve been making black beans for years. These beans are good with rice, toast, potatoes, veggies, pasta… WHATEVER. Thems good beans.

Now, here’s the thing about the volumes and measurements in this recipe: don’t listen to them. Have fun with this. I’ve made these so much I kind of just eyeball everything as I go. I usually get drunk enough to where I start to say to myself as I cook: “Hey, you know what might be good in these? Chipotle and Goat Cheese.” (Honestly I’m just a little drunk right now and I just came up with that.) And see, that’s not even a groundbreaking thought. I’m sure 1000 people have thought the exact same thing.

My point is: They’re beans. Don’t overthink them, and don’t listen to any recipies that claim to be “the last bean recipe you’ll ever need” or “hands down the best vegan beans on the planet!” It’s BS. You know it and I know it. Go eat your beans.